


Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most.

by 3pmdream



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha exist also, Angst, Boys In Love, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Dual Narrative, First Love, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Meet-Cute, More tags to be added, Opposites Attract, Recreational Drug Use, chan sells weed oops, felix is a NERD, i guess, implied jisung/changbin ig, it can be read that way? i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-30 00:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3pmdream/pseuds/3pmdream
Summary: Chan sells weed in order to pay for his college fund. Felix is the perfect straight-A student, but curious in more ways than one.





	1. First Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in a while! (my old ones have been Orphaned or deleted)  
inspiration for this one comes from [this picture](https://www.instagram.com/p/B29CxZlHbBs/) after I made a joke abt how chan looks like that one older sibling that sells drugs.. i'm sorry sksks  
i'm also sorry for the short first chapter, the next one will be up in the next few days!

Chan’s tired. He normally is, but this time he’s more tired. The kind where it feels like your eyelids are cemented down with several rocks. He rolls to the other side of his bed with a soft thud and checks his phone. There’s a message, the number isn’t saved (he never does with his clients.) It just says ’got any?’. Chan’s a drug dealer, but not really. His cousin is, and he buys it off him and then resells it. It’s not anything seriously addictive, like meth or heroin, just weed; so, he doesn’t feel too bad about what he’s doing. He just wants to get money for college, and of course, there are other ways he could do that, like getting a normal, not illegal job. He responds ‘yeah, how much u want?’ He wants an eighth, and they’ve agreed to meet at 6. And just like that - first sale of the day done. 

It’s 7.30, which gives him about an hour to get to college. He doesn’t do deals until after hours (he’d rather not be caught with about two ounces of an illegal substance in his bag, thank you very much.) He shuffles downstairs. His parents leave at 7 every morning, so the house is completely empty except for his cat. School’s only a few weeks into the term, so work isn’t too strenuous yet. It will be though. He doesn’t eat breakfast but decides on the most disgusting combination of vegemite mixed with rice for his lunch. He returns upstairs and changes out of his pyjamas, then haphazardly pulls a beanie onto his head and goes out the door. He puts his headphones on, which might not be the best decision as he has a habit of focusing too much on the music, which increases his chance of being involved in road accidents by at least 20%. Or something. Chan’s math sucks. He arrives at school unscathed, where he meets Changbin and Jisung surprisingly easily, at least one of them is always late, but it seems this week they’ve turned a new leaf. 

‘On time for once, what’s gotten into you?’ He laughs, gently punching Jisung in the shoulder. He looks over at Changbin who – no offence – looks completely dead. He cocks one eyebrow, and it’s like he’s read Chan’s mind.

‘Made new music instead of homework. A good idea at the time.’ 

‘Yeah, we made a cool beat to go with those lyrics you wrote, Chan.’ Jisung’s sentence seems like it should have more energy to it, but it’s deadpan, punctuated with lack of sleep.

‘Damn, make better decisions.’ 

‘Chan, you literally sell drugs.’ Changbin quips – his tiredness never slows his wit.

‘Hey… It’s easy money, okay? I’m ‘funding my education’. He hears Changbin call him some insult in response but he’s far too tired to care, he knows its all in jest. 

The rest of the day passes quickly – for him at least. Changbin and Jisung go through various degrees of sleep deprivation, but for some reason, it doesn’t hit him as hard. Lunch is spent furiously scrawling lines of lyrics in the backs of their notebooks. Then it’s 3 pm, and they’re in the music technology suite (Chan sacrificed going to college far away and getting the 'full experience') for a really good music studio), with Jisung and Chan collectively yelling into a microphone, earning a few knocks on the door, which roughly translates to ‘please shut up or you’ll get suspended’.

‘Hey, lunch is almost over – you busy later Chan?’ Changbin begins to save the track somewhere on one of the countless USB drives he owns.

‘Uh, I’ve got this one kid to see- ‘

‘Don’t say it like that, it makes you sound like a paedophile.’ Jisung cuts him off. In fairness, he’s kind of right.

‘Sorry, I’ve got a customer’ He puts on his ‘posh accent’ for that one. Changbin laughs. ‘But I should be free at like… 8, maybe 9?’

‘Okay, you wanna run over this on call?’

‘Yeah, sure. That good with you, Jisung?’ He nods affirmatively, looking up from a tangle of microphone wires. 

‘I mean we probably don’t need to do much more, but we’ve gotta discuss like, track placement and stuff for the EP.’ Changbin removes the drive from the laptop.

‘You got the designs and stuff I sent you, right?’ Jisung has now successfully untangled the wires and is now placing them back in their boxes.

‘Yeah.’ Chan absentmindedly checks his watch. It’s 4.30, and he agreed to meet this kid at 6, in a location a 20-minute walk from his house because he’s fucking stupid. He mutters a string of expletives under his breath ‘Guys, I’ve gotta go and get ready to meet this...’ He stops, thinking of a more appropriate word than ‘kid’ before Jisung makes another comment. ‘…person.’

‘Nice save.’ Jisung laughs. Chan slaps him on the side of his arm on his way out of the room.


	2. First Time

Lee Felix’s palms are kind of sweaty. He’s not too sure why he’s signed up to this, Woojin would’ve straight up done it for him – he also offered to come with him to pick it up. He told himself he ‘needed to do it by himself, so he could get the experience.’ He’s never smoked before, let alone picked up from a dealer (not that he’d let anyone know that.) Even when he was in Australia, he’d never even gotten close to drugs, so the thing he told his older friend about ‘seeing how different it was over here’ was complete bullshit. He gets his phone out of his pocket and checks the time, it’s 6.10 and he has no clue where this guy is. This guy is 10 minutes late, he expected better from some form of ‘businessman’. And, with it being January, it had begun to get dark. He wonders what this guy is like, whether he’s scary – a ‘thug’ type, like the stereotypical drug dealer, or maybe he’s just an average guy. Woojin knows him through a friend, he tries to recall the name, but he can’t really remember. At this moment he realises he’s still wearing his school jumper, the logo instantly identifying him. He quickly shoves it into his backpack. 

He then sees a guy crossing the street, seemingly walking straight up to him. His brain immediately makes the connection – this dude is his dealer. He can’t really tell too much about him from the distance, but he’s wearing a beanie. He gets closer and closer into Felix’s proximity until:  
‘Hi.’ Felix’s voice is barely above a whisper.

The guy mutters a greeting back, and shoves his hand into his jacket pocket, bringing out a small bag, containing what he came here for. Felix just stares at it for a moment and the other guy clears his breath as if to say, ‘put that away now you fucking fool’. Felix quickly pockets it and hands him the money. He looks back at the guy again, expecting him to say something, but instead he just kind of stares at his face. Illuminated by the streetlight, he can now see his eyes are brown, and he’s blond, most of his hair is obscured by the beanie. 

‘Okay, see you round.’ He says, before turning and leaving. And just like that, he’s gone. Felix has successfully completed the first drug deal of his life, and soon he’ll be experiencing his first joint – depending on how fast Woojin comes to pick him up. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and dials the number.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ Woojin’s voice seems to echo, he’s clearly in the car now, on speaker mode.

‘The guy was late, how far away are you?’

‘Like… five minutes? Stay where you are.’ 

And the call goes dead. Felix stares at his shoes. He sniffs the air to check that the smell of weed is concealed by his jacket, which it is. Then, a car pulls in front of him, a blue one. Woojins in the driver’s seat. He opens the door and gets inside.

‘How was Chan?’

He processes for a moment, then realises Chans the guy he’s just bought drugs off.

‘He was okay, I think. Seemed in a bit of a hurry, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’re late.’

‘Poor guy, probably has a busy schedule.’ Woojin keeps his eyes on the road.

‘Yeah… How do you know him again?’ 

‘Changbin, we used to do piano together.’ Felix remembered Woojin had piano lessons from second grade, but then stopped in tenth grade. Felix makes an approving noise in response but continues to stare out the window, somewhat vacant. They stay in silence until they pull up to his friend’s house.

He walked into their open-plan kitchen-living room, their coffee table heaving with an assortment of snacks, also what Felix presumed was some kind of smoking paraphernalia. He really wished he wasn’t this sheltered and actually knew things about the world, but his parents were both doctors, so being overly paranoid about your child’s safety kind of came with the territory on that one. Felix plops himself down on the sofa and turns Spotify on at Woojin’s request. After much deliberation, they finally decide on the music, it’s some American rap thing. Felix understands all of it; Woojin not so much, but the number of drug references in these songs seems fitting. Felix then realises the weed is still in his jacket in the Kim family hallway. 

‘The weed’s still in my jacket pocket.’ Woojin laughs, Felix always has been slightly scatter-brained and at 18 years of age it hadn’t made any signs of persisting. 

‘You wanna use the bong first?’ Woojin asks. Felix now learns the slightly menacing, yet pretty impressive thing on the table is a bong.

‘You first.’ Felix responds quick, he’s kind of anxious and makes a mental note to never lie to Woojin about something so stupid ever again. 

‘Okay, well at least light it for me?’ Felix wasn’t experienced, but he wasn’t stupid. He watches his friend break up the green substance with his hands, before stuffing it into the glass receptacle on the bong. Felix picks up the lighter and watches the bright green turn black. He was slightly startled by the bubbling sounds that it emitted, he hadn’t noticed the water inside. He watches the older male take a hit, decides it seems easy enough, then it’s his turn.

He puts his mouth around the bottle-like top, waiting for it to be lit. It is, and he inhales. It burns a little (even though he’s not even sure if he’s hit it properly.) He passes it back and is kind of shocked that he doesn’t feel anything too much. He expects it to feel more intense than this. The two pass the bong back and forth and on the second or third hit, it hits him like a truck. He feels fuzzy and really calm, which is unlike him. It’s a nice feeling. He’s staying at the house, so he doesn’t really need to worry about how to get home, it’s a Friday so he can catch up with homework tomorrow, and Woojin’s parents are out of town. That’s at least two things for him to not feel anxious about. Now he’s high and his guard is significantly down, he feels like he’ll spout some fairly regrettable shit, but Woojin seems pretty content just listening to music. His head tilted back against the sofa; he looks blissful. 

Time seems to move fast, they’ve now listened to three different albums, but Felix is pretty out of it, so they’ve all blurred into one. It’s 10.36, and they’ve eaten almost all the snacks. It’s consisted of the two of them listening to music – Felix insisted they played La Campanella, a piano piece Woojin learnt as part of his piano classes, partially to annoy him, but also because Felix genuinely enjoys it as a piece. Music seems to feel nicer, clearer when he’s like this. During this time, his thoughts seem to wander.

The thing is, Lee Felix’s life is somewhat perfect. His parents are doctors, which means they’re financially stable. When he was back in Australia, he was given the option to attend private education instead of state schooling. And he’s incredibly thankful for all the opportunities they provide him, but he just feels so disconnected from them both sometimes. There are things they don’t know about him that he should tell them, but he just can’t. That’s the thing, Lee Felix, the perfect son, the perfect student, is pretty sure he’s gay. And he’s probably never going to let anyone know because the thought terrifies him. Not even Woojin, his best friend. He knows the attitudes towards such things over here are different, and even in Australia, it wasn’t the most progressive of countries. It means he’s used to it now, keeping it all to himself. He’s thought about guys before, he knows exactly what he’d like to do with them, he’s just never had the chance to do it because, well, no one actually knows. He looks across at Woojin and feels a pang of guilt in his stomach and thinks to himself that if anyone deserves to know it’s him. He feels like he’s going to say something to him, but he just sits there, slightly open-mouthed, unable to even vocalise such a thing. 

Woojin looks at him and cocks an eyebrow in worry.

‘Yeah, sorry, just thinkin’ about stuff.’

‘Wanna talk?’ Woojin stretches out on the couch. Felix deliberates telling his closest friend his biggest secret.

‘No. It’s fine.’ He speaks with worry, as if just by merely entertaining the thought he’s done something wrong.

‘Okay,’ Woojin laughs slightly. Felix’s mind begins to race, he ponders whether Kim Woojin’s secret talent is that he can read minds. ‘D’you think we should go to bed?’ 

‘Yeah, okay.’ Felix yawns, his face scrunching up.

‘Okay, you can sleep in the spare room tonight?’ Felix has a habit of just sleeping on Woojin’s couch, but tonight his friend seems to have taken the extra step to ensure he sleeps in an actual bed, which is nice. He seems to fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow, it’s partially from the drugs, and partially because he never goes to bed after 10.30.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right!! I hope this one's okay, I wrote this almost immediately after I finished the first chapter... I'm having a bit of trouble w/ the third one, so don't expect chapter three to come as quick as this one did :3  
if you have any suggestions on how I can improve, or if you have any ideas for plot please feel free to comment or message me and I'll take it on board!


End file.
